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all my life I've been told I'm too skinny.
some say it with amazement, some say it surprised, some say it with worriedly concern. some woman stopped me on the street to tell me that.. man, she was coo-coo.
my friends who worry about themselves being overweight think I'm lucky to never know what it's like to be fat. But I too understand how it feels like to be judged by your body image and have people tell you you are not good enough because of it.
I want to set the record straight because I love my body and take good care of it. it is very healthy, perfectly proportioned, and very flexible. It has carried me around the world to see wonders. It protected me from the hot and cold, rocks and ice. It keeps the good stuff in, and the bad stuff out. it knows how to regulate its own temperature and transport its own nutrients. my hair and nails grow on their own, wounds heal w/o me thinking about it! In return, I want to feed it with the most fresh foods, fruits and veggies, clean and maintain it regularly, and say THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU BODY <3
It's a nice instrument and through it I get this life's experience. It holds me, but it's not me. Yet without it, I cannot be.
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"she changed jobs so many times...." friend A said to friend B about me on the dinner table.
"yeah, I'm a wiredo." I winked.
i guess that's what i came to this land for, so I don't have to hold one job, be with one man, live in the same place for my whole life. So I can explore, chase and fail, fail and try again with relative ease.
i really like that idea.
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京郊／爨
雄伟险峻的山有气魄，则生王相
蜿蜒秀丽的山聚灵气，则出人杰
南看山北看山，心生无限感动。
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长沙
下了飞机大概一点多。刚下过雨，空气很湿润，远处的景色都笼罩在一片清凉的水气之中。高速公路两旁的植被茂密，品种繁多，下了雨更是翠色染指。清明刚过，田看似已经插上早稻秧了。田间的那种空旷和开阔，更让我心爱这片土地。田间的薄雾洁白轻盈。
湖南的山水真是灵秀，青山绿水之间凝聚着一股灵气。
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去深圳
太久没有坐长途火车，看到火车站乌泱泱的父老乡亲有点头皮发嘛。车厢里人来人往我心里紧，根本睡不着，只能窝在小桌上做writing therapy. 心里觉得有一点儿好笑，什么时候变的这么弱。
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在某处读到：
人总在用自己有限的体验去把握未知的世界。如果要做到信心满满，在某钟程度上必须相信任何事情都是可知的，或通过努力能够被了解的。而这个浩瀚的宇宙无量无边，其中我们不过是一粒沙尘，很多事我们理解不了更别说总结概括。知识上升到了一个境界会对万物心生敬畏，不再傻呼呼的给它们定论戴帽了。
今天想起这件事，因为说得太对了。
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上海
不到上海不知道自己有多讨厌蒲夜店。
穿梭在虚幻的人群里，一个人朝前走。像要去到哪里，其实毫无目的。靡丽的灯光，狂欢的人群，刺鼻的酒精味流过喉咙，浇在胃里火辣辣的，一颗心却比任何时候都清醒。静静地看着身边浮漾骚动的人群，只觉得隔阂。
凌晨两点坐在出租车后坐看雨，和司机聊家常。听他的上海口音，看雨里的法租界和梧桐，才有点觉得是到了上海。
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回程
有时候想到一个人会心里一紧。
有时候想到一个人会下腹一沉。
心头一紧是因为余情未了，还有放不下的牵挂，放下了就不会有了。但下腹一沉是什么意思我实在不明白，莫名其妙。那一沉的感觉非常不好，之后想了几次都不明白，反反复复却从未断绝。
有时候想到一个人会有如丝的暖意在胸腔中扩散开，传遍整个上身，情不自禁地眉心舒展，一脸的清澈安详。
Edit: 九月－终于明白那下腹一沉是什么了，那是想抓住什么，想改变什么，又什么也没有把握的窘困，承认自己有时也是个失败的有情众生，就好了，就平息了。